It’s unfortunate how often we hear brides discussing with each other how best to handle push back from difficult friends or family regarding their destination wedding. Although not often, there are plenty of brides out there who get negativity and brash questions thrown at them regarding their wedding that they weren’t prepared (rightfully so) to handle.
We sincerely hope you receive nothing but support, excitement and joy from your family and friends during your wedding planning. But if not, we hope this post offers guidance and reassurance regarding how to handle difficult friends and family members regarding your wedding.
You can’t please everyone
This applies to every single bride out there. Whether you’re planning a traditional wedding, destination wedding, or want to elope – someone out there won’t be 100% happy with it. Whether or not they choose to share their opinions with you is up to them (and we really hope they don’t). Stay firm in your convictions. And remember. Their opinions should have nothing to do with how you choose to plan the wedding of your dreams.
Try not to take it personally
Most of the time, people feel the need to share their opinion on something that doesn’t directly affect them because of their own misfortune or negativity. Sure, they may think more people should be invited or a destination can be pricey, but is it their wedding? No. You are choosing this route because of how excited and happy it makes you feel, not them.
It’s not about them
Yes, at the end of the day you want everyone to be happy and content regarding all things with your wedding. But if they’re not, try to remind yourself that it’s about how happy and content YOU feel. Don’t sacrifice your own happiness to make others feel better. You’ll regret changing your mind just for the needs of others.
Set boundaries
From the get go, make sure to have a plan of action just in case you do run into difficult friends or family regarding your wedding.
If it’s regarding cost here are a few ideas on how to respond:
“I understand how it can seem like a lot of money to attend our wedding. Of course, we’d love for you to be there, but we understand if you can’t make it for financial reasons.”
“Although we understand that cost is a concern of yours, we wanted to plan a wedding within our own budget to start us off on the right financial path. This is the wedding of our dreams and feel it’s the best decision for us.”
With that being said, we still encourage giving your guests ample time to save for your destination wedding if you’d like a lot of guests to be there. If you aren’t sure when to send invitations and save the dates, check out our post, “The Ultimate Save the Date and Invite Guide for Your Destination Wedding.”
For your closest friends and family members we suggest giving them even more of a notice. This gives them even more time to save if needed.
Create a “must have guests” list
If you’re worried about certain people not coming then you can make a list. Is there anyone that would cause you to not go through with the wedding if they weren’t there? If so, create a list of those people.
If anyone on that list is also stressed about cost or the fact that you’re having a destination wedding answer the following questions:
- Did they have ample time to save for the cost of your wedding?
- Is there any way you and your fiance could afford to pay any portion of their costs if you feel responsible?
Depending on the answers to these questions you may feel inclined to help them or reconsider your wedding plans. Of course, we still encourage going through with the wedding you envision, but if that comes at the expense of your must have guests not attending then it’s up to you whether you want to help out financially or change your plans.
While the family you came from will always be important, the one you create will matter even more
You and your future husband are about to create your own family! From this point on, every big life decision and obstacle you face will be a joined effort from both of you. Shouldn’t your wedding be the same? If both of you are all in on a destination wedding then that’s the decision you’ve both made together. Every one of you are 100% entitled to the wedding of your dreams.
Some family members (usually parents) are sticklers for tradition and they don’t understand why or how someone would want things any other way. If they’re hesitating simply because of the novelty of it all then you have to decide what’s more important to you – making them happy or having the wedding you’ve always wanted.
Most of those who were hesitant end up having a great time
Doing things out of your comfort zone can be really challenging for some. If any of you have experienced this then you know the feeling after you’ve done it is one of pride and excitement. The same can be said about your resistant friends and family. They may not realize it, but they could just be worried because it’s something they’ve never done before and the thought of that scares them. It may take a little convincing at first, but chances are that they’ll end up thanking you when it’s all said and done.
Any other brides going through dealing with difficult friends and family regarding your destination wedding? If so, how are you dealing with it? We’d love to hear from you so make sure to comment below or contact me here!
Thank you!!1